THEN: FATHER NOW: FATHER

THEN:  FATHER

 

NOW:  FATHER

 

 

When I was growing up, my father brought in the bacon.  All of it.  He went to work every morning at 6:00 and came home every evening around 5:30.  When he walked in the door after a hard day at the office, my mom handed him a cocktail, the newspaper and a slice of rye bread.  (Don’t ask.  I’m not sure why he wanted this, unless of course, it was a symbol of being the bread winner.) For the next half hour he would sit and relax while my mom finished making dinner and my sister and I set the table.

I guess you’d say he was a lot like Ward Cleaver or Jim Anderson on “Father Knows Best.”  And back then I believed he did know best.  After all, he was the man of the house.  My father.

This routine lasted for many, many years until my sister and I started high school,  at which time our mom wanted to go to work.  Not so much for the money.  But how many times can you change the bedding, scrub the toilets, rearrange the pantry, or play golf in one week?

Boost immune system function Relax lowest priced viagra pamelaannschoolofdance.com tight and tense muscles Massage therapy is effective in the control of pain – chronic or acute Reduces overall stress and fatigue stress reduction and in creating a sense of soothing relaxation and well-being. You loved this viagra prices online must follow the dosage instructions in order to reap its full benefits. Yes, it is true and this is because of low libido or have lost normal interest in the process tadalafil sale of lovemaking with her partner. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build better habits order cialis online to lead to college success. But Mom going to work wasn’t the only change that took place in our household.  Now my father’s daughters were dating.  Goodbye Ward Cleaver.  Hello Archie Bunker.

My father wasn’t exactly like good old Archie, but when it came to the boys his girls were bringing home, he could be quite judgmental.  After all, he had once been a teenage boy and he knew how boys could act toward girls.  When their daughters start dating it must be a scary time for fathers.  And of course, as a teenage girl, I knew my father did NOT know what was best for me!

Some of my boy friends were definitely  “undesirables”  in my father’s eyes.  In looking back, I can’t say as I blame him.  With only two daughters, he had five son-in-laws.  So, I guess he had reason to be concerned.

Let’s not forget the time he had to bail me out of jail. (Nothing serious) The many months when he wondered when I was going to get on with my life after I came back from Europe.  And what the heck was I doing with my college degree.  Of course, I was wondering that same thing myself.

So, eventually I went to find who I was in life, with the security of always knowing where to find my father.  In his workshop.  Throughout the years he was always building something.  From gigantic wall units, to roll-top desks to rocking horses.  In the recent past,  he turned to small wooden objects such as stamp holders, bagel tongs and boxes with secret openings.  Sometimes he actually made me guess the object that he had  made.

But I never have to guess how much he loves me.  And of all the things he’s built, the best is the strong foundation upon which my sister and I lived for many years. Until the time came for us to build lives of our own.

He won’t read this column online, because at ninety, he’s not that adept at computers.  But I know my mom will print it up and give it to him.

These days, my father’s world is getting smaller.  Yet, in my world, his presence is bigger than ever.

And I’ve since learned one truth:  My father really does know best.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the wonderful fathers in our lives.

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17 Responses to THEN: FATHER NOW: FATHER

  1. LindaO says:

    What a wonderful tribute to your dad, Janie! Happy Father’s Day to him. Many miles separate me from my dad these days, but I can identify with a lot of what you described about yours.

  2. Pam says:

    This is such a lovely tribute, Janie! He sounds like a great dad. Happy Father’s Day to him! 🙂 Pam

  3. mary beth carlson says:

    Made tears come to my eyes. Thanks Janie and to Fathers who do know best.

  4. Heidi S says:

    You made me cry! Happy now?

  5. janie says:

    Linda – I hope you get to spend as much time as wish with your father. Time goes by way too fast.

  6. janie says:

    Pam – He is a great dad. Happy Father’s Day to Rick from me.

  7. janie says:

    Heidi- No, I’m not happy about you crying, but I’m glad it moved you.

  8. janie says:

    Mary Beth- I second that. To Father’s who know best!

  9. Aww, what a sweet tribute. Girls really do need their fathers. I lost mine many years ago, but I hope I pass on a little of his wisdom to my boys every day.

  10. janie says:

    Hi Carol – I’m sure you do. It happens without us even knowing about i.

  11. Such a lovely tribute. It touched my heart. My father has been gone since 1996 and I do miss him. My mother followed in 2008, so at least I had one parent for several years after Dad died. Today makes me miss both of them but, then again, today is all about my children’s father who IS still here with us. We shall dedicate this day to all the fathers here and not here with us. Memories still live on even though the physical part of these individuals may not be around any longer.
    Thanks for this post.
    Patti

  12. Taryn Raye says:

    What a lovely tribute to your dad, Janie! And I can only imagine with your mention of your trip to Europe and all the boy troubles you gave your dad he probably felt quite like Jimmy Stewart in “Take Her, She’s Mine.”

    Love that movie. My father was also “blessed” with 2 girls and I know we’ve given him fits, but he loves us just the same.

  13. Tina F says:

    Oh, so sweet, Janie! As always, you have a real way with words!

  14. Terry T says:

    I hope you can read that wonderful tribute to your father. So well said!

  15. janie says:

    Taryn Raye – Thanks. We do drive our dads crazy, don’t we. But what would we do without them?

  16. janie says:

    Patti – I hope you and your family had a great Father’s Day.

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