My old, trusty friend
The act of masturbation has been around since the beginning of time. But a large scale celebration of this action is relatively new. And what could be larger than an entire month dedicated to playing with oneself? Yes, you heard me right.
Here in the United States, it is Masturbation May.
At first, I assumed this celebration was put on the calendar by Hallmark. This greeting card company has a line of salutations for just about everyhing else, why not one for whacking off?
The jilted lover could send a card saying, “Since you won’t play with me anymore, I have to play with myself.”
The health conscious consumer could buy a card with the slogan, “A diddle a day, keeps the doctor away.”
But I was wrong. In 1994 U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders suggested that masturbation be taught in sex education classes. As a result, Elders was fired. My God, how could she suggest such a thing?
The sexually active folk in San Fransciso got their panties all in a bunch and set out to right her firing.
On May 7, 1995, California sex advocate Dr. Carol Queen with the assistance of Good Vibrations, a retail store in San Francisco, held the first National Masturbation Day and thus Masturbation May was born.
I’m not sure it was ever included in the cirriculum. But I do know that most of us don’t need any concrete lessons. Besides, the act is unique to each person.
In my case, I have early memories of lying on our livingroom floor in my favorite flannel nightgown. I’m not even sure how old I was. Old enough to know what felt good. At the time my grandfather lived with us. My behavior was quite alarming to him (as my mother tells it.)
She quietly explained to him that I was Private Dancing. Then she firmly, but gently told me that it was something I should do in private.
And take it from me, there are a lot of private places where one can release all that built up tension.
The way I see it, a month devoted to masturbating is really a month dedicated to loving oneself.
And as my mom told me a long time ago, if we can’t love ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to?