Then: Mary, Jane & Susan Now: Apple, Audio & Crazy

Then:  Mary, Jane & Susan

Now:  Apple, Audio & Crazy


It used to be easy to tell gender by one’s name.  When I was in high school, I knew a lot of Steves, Roberts, Johns and Alans.  All of them were guys.  As for girls we had a lot of Beverlys, Carols, Susans and Marshas.

Of course I knew a boy called Lynn (I felt so sorry for him) and sometimes nicknames could be confusing.  Such as Ronni for Veronica and Bobbi for Barbara.  Unless you could see the name spelled out.

And then there were always those few kids whose parents couldn’t tell the difference between a first name and a last one.  You know – the Edward Edwards, or the Jackson Jacksons.

But overall it wasn’t as confusing as it is today.  Now names are all over the place.

Actually, I don’t mind girls with traditional boys names or some of the newer unisex names.

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But then I guess with a celebrity it might not matter.  The child of a famous person isn’t going to live a normal life, no matter what his name is.

It’s the regular kids whose parents think…oh, so cool – I’ll copy Gwyneth and name my daughter Apple.  But Apple doesn’t really work as well when it’s followed by Birnbaum and especially if that Birnbaum owns a fruit market.

And then there is Jermaine Jackson’s son, Jermasjesty.  He might not get teased but the little red haired boy with freckles and the last name Temple or King surely might.

Or I.P. Freely. Giving his child that name should have been more than enough to send David Carradine to his horrible fate.  I can’t even imagine a celebrity using this name.

But my favorite “out-there-crazy-name” is Audio Science.  I have no idea if this child is a girl or a boy and I don’t even think having a famous parent (Shannyn Sossamon) will make this child immune from playground taunting.

They say names can influence your personality.  The way you view the world and in return the way the world views you.  Perhaps Audio Science is destined to work in the Audio/Visual department at his/her high school.  Jermasjesty is going to marry a real Princess and not the daughter of Bob Geldof.  And I.P. is going to sell toilet paper.

Well, everything goes in cycles.  Names come and go.  One thing that never changes is teasing.  Especially on the playground.  And kids love to make up nicknames, for whatever reason.

So I say, starting off with a normal name just makes life that much easier.

What do you think?

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One Response to Then: Mary, Jane & Susan Now: Apple, Audio & Crazy

  1. Tina F says:

    I completely agree, Janie!

    I think parents who make up names or give their kids super-unusual ones think it will give them a sense of independence and uniqueness. And in some cases, it works very well. But not all kids want to stand out. I have an adult friend with a made-up name who felt embarrassed by it and says it made her childhood harder. And for the record, she gave her kids standard names.

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