Bazongas. Tatas. Melons. Chichis. Years ago, when I worked in the porn industry these words were part of my daily vocabulary. Now, in case you get the wrong idea, I was not in front of the camera, but rather that creative voice behind the box cover blurb.
In order to get a gist of the plot, I would watch each movie until I had a total understanding of the intricate emotions driving the action
Often times during this work, my husband would come up behind me and do a bit of his own driving, which of course made concentrating on the story almost impossible.
And yes, there were stories to some of these films. Even if they were as simple as: Bored housewife sits by the pool. Horny pool man arrives. Wife takes off her top. Pool man takes out his pole.
But more often than telling the story, I had to entice the viewer by describing the lusty bustiness of the actresses.
Thus my knowledge of every conceivable synonym for that ever talked about body part: breasts. The job also became a study in human behavior.
Boobs sell. I discovered that there are more “breast man” in this world than “leg man” or “butt men.” This fact led me to the question – Why men are like this in the first place? Breaking down a woman’s body into favorite parts, sounds like one is talking about a product that can be purchased at your local grocery store.
These methods are fairly cheap and many of the ED patients used to find difficulty in gulping down a cialis pill online http://appalachianmagazine.com/page/77/ tablet. Testosterone is a “male” hormone that is mostly produced in viagra cialis generic the blood which causes the muscles surrounding blood vessels to contract. The only difference between the drugs is that former is cheap tadalafil overnight appalachianmagazine.com cost effective than the latter. This method can be supplemented cialis fast shipping http://appalachianmagazine.com/page/34/ with trainings in relaxation strategies. I rarely hear a woman announce, “Oh, I’m a penis girl.” Or “I’m a hairy chest girl.” Of course, women do favor different parts of their lover. I always loved arms, strong, muscular arms. But if they didn’t come with a good personality and some brains, well, those arms soon lost their sex appeal.
But, back to the boobs. My favorite alternative word is “breasticle.” I have no idea why. I suppose it sounds rather sophisticated. Or maybe because it rhymes with testicle.
In any event, I actually miss those days of conceiving alluring blurbs and in fact, I haven’t even seen any porn in a very long time.
I’m sure the actresses have changed. The ones I watched are now middle aged. Who wants to see that on screen? Get hot and heavy with horny Grandma Maybelle. Her banana boobs will bring you to orgasmic pleasure. Not!
But I wouldn’t mind viewing some of those older films. I’ll have to read the box covers and see which ones promise a night of orgasmic pleasure.
Hmm, I can imagine what that “surprise ending” is. There was a kid on another team in a sport my son played whose parents were in the porn industry – an actress and a director, I believe. When we played that team, I always scanned the spectators to see if I could figure out which parents were in the industry. I never did figure it out!
This was fun read for this bodacious buxom broad. 😉
I love your word breasticle lol. And yes, boobs and sex always sells. I think women are becoming a lot more about declairing which body parts of men they like. Great post!
I have never heard the word breasticle. And I thought my freelance gig rating the efficiency of search engines (including Google) was different. I never considered cover blurbs as a side job!
Lisa – It was a very fun job. Although, not as easy as you think!
I’m a shoulders, arms and chest girl, always have been. Oh, I’d love to have worked in porn back in the day. Behind the scenes, of course. Although when I was 18 I was asked to be ina porn movie. Haa. Now, I’d have to be in a specialty porn flick. Oh, our lost youth!
Were you shocked at being asked to perform?
When I read your headline, I wondered if you were writing about what I was thinking about. Obviously you were. It’s a funny quirky post, but why am I the only one commenting?
Banana Boobs. That’s me! Snort!
OMG Janie, who knew that was your previous job?! “Wild cooze chase!” What titillating writing!!
Janie, that job had to be quite the experience, not to mention a real eye opener! I’m guessing it brought days of silly jokes and side-splitting laughter. Bazooms! I’m with you and Carol…an arms and chest kind of gal, myself… Thanks for the early morning chuckle…
Too funny Janie. Kind of tough to sell and entice in 30 words or less. No wonder breasticle became a word. What a hoot for a guy to think that is a real word because he read it on a porn film description!
I think I like the term breasticle. Not sure why, but I think it should catch on!
Donna- Maybe it will be the word for 2015!
I had a cousin who was in the sex business of course as a kid I never knew that was what they did. I just heard they were business people.
Many years later when I was around 25 or so I went to visit my grandmother in the hospital and learned what my cousins were doing because I heard her explain to my grandmother which dildos and vibrators were their biggest sellers.
I am not prude, but hearing that in front of my grandmother was a bit disconcerting.
Jack – I can’t even tell you all things my mother says in front of my kids. I have to cover my ears, half the time. And I’m no prude!
Funny. So many ways we identify our parts.
A friend of mine was Miss Jones in The Devil and Miss Jones. She wrote a book about her life called The Devil Made Me Do It. She used the Pen Name Georgina Spelvin
http://www.amazon.com/The-Devil-Made-Me-Do/dp/0615199070/
How fun for your friend!
Janie,
You never cease to amaze me. I just can’t imagine doing that work, not that I’m a prude. I’ve just found porn movies to be boring. I go for shapely, well-muscled butts myself, but the man has to have the brains, personality and consideration to stay on my “preferred” list.