What My Father Built With Love

Janie Emaus and dad2

THEN:  TWO HEARTS DANCING

Always in my heart

 NOW: ALWAYS IN MY HEART

This Father’s Day will the second one without my dad.  That’s not to say that he won’t be with me.  Because he’s always in my heart.

When I was growing up, my father brought in the bacon.  All of it.  He went to work every morning at 6:00 and came home every evening around 5:30.  When he walked in the door after a hard day at the office, my mom handed him a cocktail, the newspaper and a slice of rye bread.  (Don’t ask.  I’m not sure why he wanted this, unless of course, it was a symbol of being the bread winner.) For the next half hour he would sit and relax while my mom finished making dinner and my sister and I set the table.

I guess you’d say he was a lot Jim Anderson on “Father Knows Best.”  And back then I believed he did know best.  After all, he was the man of the house.  My father.

This routine lasted for many, many years until my sister and I started high school, at which time our mom wanted to go to work.  Not so much for the money.  But how many times can you change the bedding, scrub the toilets, rearrange the pantry, or play golf in one week?

But Mom going to work wasn’t the only change that took place in our household.  Now my father’s daughters were dating.  Goodbye Jim.  Hello Archie Bunker.

My father wasn’t exactly like good old Archie, but when it came to the boys his girls were bringing home, he could be quite judgmental.  After all, he had once been a teenage boy and he knew how boys could act toward girls.  When their daughters start dating it must be a scary time for fathers.  And of course, as a teenage girl, I knew my father did NOT know what was best for me!

Some of my boy friends were definitely  “undesirables”  in my father’s eyes.  In looking back, I can’t say as I blame him.  With only two daughters, he had five son-in-laws.  So, I guess he had reason to be concerned.

Eventually I left home in order to discover who I was in life. Always with the security of knowing where to find my father.  In his workshop.

Throughout the years he was always building something.  From gigantic wall units, to roll-top desks to rocking horses.  Toward the end of life he turned to small wooden objects such as stamp holders, bagel tongs and boxes with secret openings.  Sometimes he actually made me guess what it is that he had made.

But I never had to guess how much he loved  me.  And of all the things he built, the best is the strong foundation upon I live today.

And I’ve since learned one truth:  My father really did know best.

This post is part of the GENERARTION FABULOUS blog hop all about our fathers.

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This entry was posted in Aging, building, Children, Daughters, Father's Day, Fathers, Woodworking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to What My Father Built With Love

  1. From Jim to Archie. That’s a vivid way to describe things. I love the picture. Thanks for giving us a little window into your dad’s character.

  2. Karen says:

    Janie, your dad sounds like a good father…I laughed at his “Archie Bunker” approach to boys, as that’s exactly how our father approached the guys I went out with.

  3. Ginger Kay says:

    Your dad sounds like a smart guy, and one who always had your best interests at heart. I hope this Father’s Day finds you with many happy memories of him.

  4. How very sweet that you describe your foundation of love from your dad in an analogy to his building skills. I love the photo of the two of you dancing – what a wonderful smile. Thanks for sharing his story with us.

  5. What a lovely tribute to your Dad. Those ‘bring home the bacon” dads are products of a time that has slipped away. How lucky we were to have been raised by such special men.

  6. Barbara says:

    Janie – this is a beautiful post – so sweet, sometimes funny, and poignant. What a legacy and foundation indeed, your father left you. I loved the reference to Archie Bunker – that was a sitcom my dad never missed – and he prided himself, I think, on being a bit like Archie when it came to the “meatheads” me and my two sisters dated. What a nice remembrance you’ve written here. Loved reading it.

  7. Sandra says:

    I remember watching Father Knows Best. Sweet that you realize that truth. I love the idea that he was always building things, even things that you didn’t know what they were. ( bad English) Deightful.

  8. I love the metaphor of building a foundation – so well said!

    My father scared the crap out of the guys I dated, because he was a big, muscular man. It was always amusing to me, because he was never mean or rude to any of them.

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