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Remembering A Big Man in A Small Town

Filed under Aging, Friendship

Feb 4

Today is Stand Up 2 Cancer Day

I wrote this post in memory of my brother-in-law who passed away last year. Way too soon.

In Honor a a great man

In Honor of a great man

The bad thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows everything about you.

The good thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows everything about you.

When it comes to celebrating graduations, births and weddings, this is a good thing.

When it comes to remembering a member of the small town community, this is a great thing.

Sadly, my brother-in-law, (http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/shit-happens/the-best-of-times-the-worst-of-times.html) who I loved dearly, passed away after a ten month battle with cancer. And I have to say that the memorial in his honor was like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. Every person in the town where he lived came to pay their respects and share a memory.

He was an opinionated, stubborn man. But he also gave generously to anyone who asked (and even to some that didn’t) with his advice, time and even money.

As I stood at the bar (yes, the drinks were flowing) I felt as if I had landed in a modern day Our Town.

In one corner stood a carpenter, missing half his teeth. In another, a tall, attractive blonde woman in a tight black dress. Over there, a doctor in a silk shirt and dress pants. By the door, a young man in military dress. Balancing a plate of cheese and fruit, stood a white haired woman in a bright green golf shirt.

The rich. The poor. The PhDs. The high school dropouts.

At a time like this, there is no difference between people.

They have cramed my sister’s refrigerator with “mystery” casseroles. Stocked her bar with enough bottles of vodka to last well into the next year. Offered to shovel snow, build fires, fix toilets.

The people of this small town, tucked into a beautiful corner in the mountains, have stepped in to fill the huge space left by my brother-in-law’s passing.

Yes, there are no secrets in a small town.

And it is no secret that he was a great man who touched hundreds of people from all walks of life.

Tagged as: aging, cancer, Family, love

16 Comments

16 Responses to “Remembering A Big Man in A Small Town”

Ellen Dolgen said on February 4th, 2013 at 1:11 pm

Dear Janie – I’m sorry for the loss of your brother in law. The loss of someone has a domino effect on sooo many. I’ll be sharing this piece and encouraging more to get involved with SU2C. Thanks again for your honesty.
Jennifer Comet Wagner said on February 4th, 2013 at 1:20 pm

I’m so sorry about your brother-in-law. Cancer also took my mother way to early. Will we ever be able to get rid of cancer once and for all?
Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs said on February 4th, 2013 at 1:50 pm

I’m sorry for your family’s—and town’s—loss, Janie. He truly must have been one incredible man to have touched so many hearts. Cancer sucks.
Grace Hodgin said on February 4th, 2013 at 2:07 pm

I can tell your brother in law was a well rounded individual just by hearing who attended his memorial. I’m sorry for your loss but am so glad you were blessed to have him in your life.
Emily said on February 4th, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Beautiful post and tribute. My mom is fighting pancreatic cancer now. Thank you for reminding me that it is Stand Up To Cancer day. I pray for a cure every day too.
SHELLEY R ZUREK said on February 4th, 2013 at 2:37 pm

Touchingly true. THanks for the tearful tribute!
carol (middle-aged-diva) said on February 4th, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Timing is everything…went to the doctor today with a friend who is battling cancer. Blessings to your family….
Haralee said on February 4th, 2013 at 4:47 pm

Cancer touches so many. What a lovely post!
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:06 pm

Ellen – Thanks for you kind words. It’s been tough on us all, but life goes on. And it only confirms my belief that we have to enjoy each moment.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:07 pm

I hope so. Maybe one of today’s teens will have the cure.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:07 pm

The town definitely lost a good man.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:08 pm

We were all blessed. Thanks, Grace.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Emily – My heart goes out to you and your family. I wish you all the best.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Shelley – It was an amazing memorial for an amazing man. Thanks so much for your comment.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:09 pm

And Carol – Blessings to your family and your friend.
janie said on February 4th, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Haralee – When he first got sick he talked about making a garment to cover his bile bag. I think of that day every time I hear your wonderful success story.