THEN: SLIDING HOME
NOW: STEP UP THE PLATE
When I was in college, I used to love to come home for the holidays. I would barge through the front door, drop my dirty laundry on the washing machine, hug my parents and slide into my favorite chair, the cushy one in front of the picture window which was perpetually bathed in sunlight. Being home meant intimate family dinners with just my parents and then larger ones with my cousins and grandparents. I was fortunate that both sets of grandparents liked each other and we would have one Hanukah celebration, one Thanksgiving, one New Year’s Day party.
These days, coming home for the holidays doesn’t always mean going to one home. With divorce more prevalent than when I was a twenty-something girl, many kids have to celebrate with their mother and step dad. And then their dad and step mom. Already that makes two holiday dinners. Which wouldn’t be so bad, if it stopped there.
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One only has to watch movies to see that the times have changed. Years ago, there was a Wonderful Life, A Christmas In Connecticut and A Christmas Story, to name just a few. Several years back we had The Ref and Home for Holidays. And more recently Four Christmases. Just thinking of having four celebrations in one day is exhausting.
And full of calories galore. How many turkey dinners can one stomach take? How many of a “special” aunt’s “famous” Jell-O molds can one taste? Not to mention all the family bickering that goes on. Yes, even in the most functional of families this does take place, but when you multiply it by steps and divided it in halves these events can become overwhelming.
But there is a positive side to all of this. It’s quite possible for this child of divorced parents to meet a future spouse at a one of these extended family affairs. Because there are certainly going to be a lot of non-blood relatives filling up on brisket or turkey and drinking one too many rum drinks.
Who knows? That half cousin of her uncle’s step brother on her mother’s side, just might turn out to be the love of her life.
And just maybe, she’ll get married and stay married. Her parents will adore her husband’s parents, making her home the place where everyone gathers to celebrate. And as her children grow into adults, they will come sliding home for the holidays- just as I did so many years ago.
