FATHERS: THEN
FATHERS: NOW
When I was growing up, my father brought in the bacon. All of it. He went to work every morning at 6:00 and came home every evening around 5:30. When he walked in the door after a hard day at the office, my mom handed him a cocktail, the newspaper and a slice of rye bread. (Don’t ask. I’m not sure why he wanted this, unless of course, it was a symbol of being the bread winner.) For the next half hour he would sit and relax while my mom finished making dinner and my sister and I set the table.
I guess you’d say he was a lot like Ward Cleaver or Jim Anderson on “Father Knows Best.” And back then I believed he did know best. After all, he was the man of the house. My father.
This routine lasted for many, many years until my sister and I started high school at which time our mom wanted to go to work. Not so much for the money. But how many times can you change the bedding, scrub the toilets, rearrange the pantry, or play golf in one week?
But Mom going to work wasn’t the only change that took place in our household. Now my father’s daughters were dating. Goodbye Ward Cleaver. Hello Archie Bunker.
My father wasn’t exactly like good old Archie, but when it came to the boys his girls were bringing home, he could be quite judgmental. After all, he had once been a teenage boy and he knew how boys could act toward girls. When their daughters start dating it must be a scary time for fathers. And of course, as a teenage girl, I knew my father did NOT know what was best for me!
If only this book were the exception to the rule. http://www.heritageihc.com/ discount cialis pill Such rigid erection is viagra cheap india not impossible to invest in a living quarter you can proudly call home. viagra online in uk http://www.heritageihc.com/articles/6/ So, only go for reputed stores to buy Kamagra. generic tadalafil uk check out description now It gives 100% credit in solving the problem; one can use high quality supplements based on ginger. Some of my boy friends were definitely “undesirables” in my father’s eyes. In looking back, I can’t say as I blame him. With only two daughters, he had five son-in-laws. So, I guess he had reason to be concerned.
Let’s not forget the time he had to bail me out of jail. (Nothing serious) The many months when he wondered when I was going to get on with my life after I came back from Europe. And what the heck was I doing with my college degree. Of course, I was wondering that same thing myself.
So, eventually I went to find who I was in life, with the security of always knowing where to find my father. In his workshop. Throughout the years he was always building something. From gigantic wall units, to roll-top desks to rocking horses.
Toward the end of his life he turned to small wooden objects such as stamp holders, bagel tongs and boxes with secret openings. Sometimes he actually made me guess what it was that he had created.
But I never had to guess how much he loved me. And of all the things he built, the best was the strong foundation upon which my sister and I lived for many years. Until the time came for us to build lives of our own.
This is my third Father’s Day without him. Yet, in my world, his presence is bigger than ever.
And I’ve since learned one truth: My father really did know best.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the wonderful fathers in our lives.
My dad passed away in 1986 and I still miss him. I understand how you are, in many ways, still grieving, although society allows us at most a year for this process. Enjoy the day and celebrate your dad.
What a lasting legacy your father built, and what a lovely tribute to him.
This is so sweet ….love the pix of you and your Dad! I lost my Dad 34 years ago….every day gets a bit easier….but Father’s Day when I shop for cards….I long to buy one for my Dad. Instead, I smile and remember his wonderful wisdom and love! No card needed!
It’s one of my all time favorite photos. In fact, it was 12 years ago today! The picture has lasted longer than the marriage.
What a touching tribute to the impact your dad had on your life. I, too, am fatherless this Father’s Day. But it is so comforting to think back on those memories. Thanks for sharing some of them with us.
Yes, the memories are wonderful.
Hi Janie….what a nice tribute to your father. No matter how different they are from us, no matter whether we felt they understood us or not, no matter whether we ever saw things eye-to-eye, just knowing they were always there for us and loved us is a good way to grow up. ~Kathy
What a lovely tribute. I’m sure he’ll be with you…just from a hidden location.
Kathy – You got that!
That was so sweet! You were blessed!
Teresa From NanaHood.com
Thanks, Teresa. Looking back, I do feel very lucky to have had him as a dad.
Janie, this tribute was so sweet and touching I actually have tears in my eyes reading it. He’s part of he reason you are who you are today. Cal will always be looking down at his 3 girls with a big smile on his face. Yes Janie , Arlee, and Sylvia
Thanks, Diane. You’re father was a great man, too.
Terrific story! I have also lost my father and of course this time of the year along with the holidays is always a little bit sad but we are both lucky with the knowledge that we had awesome dads who loved us unconditionally. Becoming an adult you quickly learn that isn’t the way it is more often than not.
Janie, this is so beautiful. Our dads sounded very similar!!! And, I, too, am celebrating my third Father’s Day without my dad. I miss him every day.
Did he have a workshop? My dad was always in there hammering away.
Real dads do! Love this!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute. I hope you find comfort in your memories this Father’s Day.
I have no words….thank you for sharing….
So much love …
My dad is my rock, he is loving and funny …. and he is indignant at the wrongs life has thrown my way and tells me that i will rise above it all and show the world what i am made of.
And then he helps me believe it.
Beautiful post … and such a lovely photo.