The “W” Syndrome

I’m allergic to cleaning bathrooms.

Sink

I have all the best intentions when I start out. I take the bottle of glass cleaner and a nice rag and head for the shower door. In my mind I see myself spraying the glass and then wiping it off with wide, circular strokes, much like I’ve seen my mother and grandmother do a million times.  I visualize holding the toilet brush and scrubbing away the scum. I see knobs so shiny that my reflection smiles back at me.

But as soon as I step over the threshold and into the bathroom everything changes. And my mind goes into a“Pause” state.

This lasts for a few seconds and then the action returns to “Play.” But unlike a movie which returns to where it left off, my mind skips to a totally new activity.

Usually one that involves writing or walking or wine, depending on the time of day.  I call this the my “W” syndrome.

I’ve thought of seeing a doctor, but which one would I pick?  An internist, if I had one, would only say I was just procrastinating.  Nothing physical is actually going on in my brain.

A psychiatrist would start analyzing me in one of several ways.  A believer in the Freudian theory, would go back to my youth. Since my mom is an immaculate housekeeper he might suggest I have some regressed anger toward her.  Or some underlying issues linked to the word Wife, which back in my mom’s day was equivalent to cleaning, cooking and serving one’s husband.

A Gestalt therapist might suggest that I ignore the past and live in the moment. Which of course, would bring me no closer to cleaning the bathroom since those moments don’t exist in my life.

And as far as my dreams go, the only time cleaning shows up in my rem state is one in where I’m handing money over to a professional house cleaner. And with today’s economy that’s not about to happen any time soon.

So I decided to try to cure myself.
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First, I put on some good old rock and roll music.  That was all well and good, until I started dancing around the house which led me to my tennis shoes and out the door for a long Walk.

I then switched to soothing meditation music. That brought me to my couch and a glass of Wine.

Wine

Next, I tried listening to an audio book that produced creative thought and I ended up at my computer Writing.

None of these solutions brought me any closer to cleaning the bathroom.

But one day, who knows exactly when, I’ll go into the shower and say WTF!

How come no one ever cleans this place? And I’ll go into a cleaning frenzy.

Until then. I say: Visitor Beware.

Come drink a bottle of wine with me. There are more important things in life than cleaning the damn bathroom.

 

This entry was posted in Aging, allergies, cleaning, Dreaming, walking, wine, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The “W” Syndrome

  1. DaveB says:

    *sigh*

    W-omen…

  2. Jane Gassner says:

    It has been my misfortune to have many friends who actually loved to clean. Imagine! Thank god you’re not one of them.

  3. You’re my kind of “W”oman. I hate cleaning bathrooms almost as much as I hate vacuuming!

  4. Tina says:

    Looking for a partner in crime here? I’m Wready and Willing!

  5. Sam Beck says:

    “W”…Who needs sparkling knobs?! Folding laundry is my household equivalent to cleaning the bathroom, (the 5 yr. old son ensures at least 1 bathroom always really, REALLY needs to be cleaned). Why should I fold the clothes and put them in drawers when that just means someone’s going to wear them, get them dirty, and throw them in the laundry again?

  6. other mary says:

    I have it too! Very funny post.

  7. I need to hire a cleaning “W”oman because I need more time to “w”alk and “w”rite. Sorry to “w”hine. LOL

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